To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable, to make yourself vulnerable is to show strength - Criss Jami
Vulnerability use to be a very touchy topic for me but after studying Brene Brown's A Gift of Imperfection and her most recent TED talk, it got me to thinking: why is vulnerability so taboo?
Now if you live under a rock and have never heard of Brene Brown, shame on you! No just kidding but she's a shame and guilt researcher and storyteller. Seriously she calls herself a storyteller, how badass is that!
You see before studying her work, I associated vulnerability with weakness, I didn't understand a persons need to be emotional or sensitive. I would take everything with a grain of salt and remain nonchalant regarding most issues.
I learned to stop crying and having mental breakdowns and began to internalize my problems and overly critic myself but I won't take sole credit for the damage that's been done, I'll blame society.
Mainly my family, you see growing up, I was picked on for being a "Cry Baby". I mean maybe I was annoying (so they say) but I lacked the words to express myself eloquently, so I replaced tears with words, to let others know I'm hurting based on their actions.
Someone once told me "a lady only cry in the shower" as if crying was something to be ashamed of and now I'm ready to call bullshit.
Crying is a sign of strength! Crying proves your human and you have feelings. Why do we want to be heartless creatures, who don't bat an eye when things go wrong?
Crying is only a piece of vulnerability but growing up, like most of us, we were told to man up. Suck it up, dust yourself off and get back up.
Now that I'm older, I understand the significance of both. You'll learn when to hide your emotions and when to express them freely without judgement.
Being resilient is a phenomenal quality to possess, however, you move on so quickly, you never get to deal with the carnage that was experienced. Alloqing yourself to potentially fall victim to the same mistakes. Vulnerbality either on a solo exploration or shared, is to show acknowledgement for what has been done and cope with the situation.
Expressing your emotions was something I've struggled with and if you're anything like me...I'm hear to tell you: it's okay. Showing vulnerability shows strength,
Here are 3 most vulnerable phrases and why you should get use to saying them:
1. I'm Sorry-UGH why do we find it so hard to apologize to people when we are knowingly in the wrong. Some people rather cut you off completely than apologize for their poor behavior.
Sincere apologies are for those that make them, not for those to whom they are made - Greg LeMond
I know its tough to be vulnerable and admit that you fucked up but honestly: if you can say sorry, it shows how STRONG you are. Recognize your mistakes and own up to them. No one is perfect and we're human — we make mistakes. We hurt people unintentionally sometimes and apologizing can help you mend those relationships.
2. I love you-Don't miss opportunities to tell those you care about that you love them. I remember I use to be scared to tell a guy "I love you" first. When I realized, if I'm going to wait around for a man to express himself, I might as well move on.
Now I'm not saying run around telling any and everybody you love them but stop shying away from relationships because you're afraid of being hurt. Hurting is apart of love and like the saying say: "its better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all".
3. I forgive you-Sometimes we forget that forgiveness is for ourselves not the other person.
Staying angry at someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies-unknown
You need to forgive people for yourself, to be able to close that chapter in your life and fully move on. I use to think forgive meant giving that person another chance but the older I got, I realized, forgiveness could just mean acknowledging what has happened but removing those toxic people from your life.
Fuck society standards and show empathy and express yourself freely when you feel called too. But tell me how do you show vulnerablity in your life and business?