Hi, my name is Lakisha and I am a Daddy less Daughter. My father walked away before I was born, leaving my mother to raise 3 daughters on her own in Low Income Housing and Food Stamps(without any assistance from him).
I never got to see a healthy representation of a love. I never got to dance on my fathers shoes and make him a Father’s Day card. I never got to have a relationship with him. When I turned 10 my father had a son and SOMEHOW finally knew how to be a father. As a kid that took a HUGE toll on me mentally, physically and emotionally - I internalized his abandonment to mean 1. I am unworthy of love. 2. I am undeserving of money. 3. I am not good enough. I use to tell myself, It was personal. There was something WRONG with me - so I attracted the wrong men, time and time again. And lowered my expectations of men (even friends) and struggled to keep my sanity. Eventually, after finding out my relationship of 2 1/2 years was all ONE big lie (I was a mistress and his REAL girlfriend just had his baby), I hit rock bottom. I was fired from my job, dropped out of college and was facing eviction. I didn’t KNOW what to do, so I looked inward. I asked myself: WHY DO I KEEP ATTRACTING THESE SITUATIONS? WHAT PIECE OF ME IS ADDICTED TO THE DRAMA? I had to do some REAL healing around my lack of LOVE and RESPECT for myself. I’m not perfect, nor do I try to be, I am just honest. I spent the next 2 years building up my self worth and confidence and now I can happily look in the mirror and say I LOVE MYSELF and I am grateful for those experiences. My past has shown me what TRUE love looks like and when I look at my scars, I know It means I can make It through anything. And I just want to tell you, NO MATTER what your childhood looks like, you can ALWAYS change your reality. You can break the cycle. You can rewrite history. You can heal the past. I won’t lie and say It was EASY but It was necessary and I would do It all over again if It means I will wake up feeling as good as I do now. The dark times don’t last forever. I had generations of trauma to heal (and I STILL not finished) but I am finished feeling empty or incomplete. I know my WORTH and that means so much to me. I made a commitment that past WOULD no longer effect my future - so I had to let It go. Today make the commitment to release the past and move forward. Comment below and tell me what you are READY to let go of. PS: I love you and I am here for you. You are not alone.