People would ALWAYS ask me, “Why didn’t I walk away from my last relationship sooner”? And the answer is because I felt comfortable (safe). Have you ever heard the saying - the devil you know is better than the one you don’t know - well that’s how I felt about dating!
When people were constantly asking me, why didn’t I walk away, truth is because I knew him, I was familiar. Starting OVER meant learning someone’s favorite color or what they like to do for fun all over again. (That’s exhausting 🤦🏽♀️). Starting OVER meant I would have to overcome my fears of rejection and abandonment. 🤦🏽♀️ Starting OVER meant I could no longer blame men for why things didn’t work out and I would have to take a hard look at myself. 🤦🏽♀️ Starting over meant starting over and who wants to do that - NO ONE! Maybe for you it wasn’t a relationship, maybe it’s a job and that’s why you haven’t applied for a new one. Starting over comes with the headache of going through the interview process again, you don’t want to buy new clothes. Starting OVER means learning new policies and what if you don’t agree with the policies, just like at your old job. But at the old job, you’ve found loop holes and you know your way around the system so although it’s annoying, you make It work and you stay (longer than you want). Starting OVER means having all new coworkers, what if they eat your lunch out the fridge or what if they gossip about you. At your old job, you’re a veteran, so people tend to leave you alone and starting a new job may be different. And like I said before, the Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t know. I really believed that for a long time until I realized how crippling it was for me to progress. IF YOU ARE NOT GROWING YOU ARE DYING - Tony Robbins Staying somewhere you don’t want to be is sabotaging your future. Change is good and the sooner you look at It differently, the sooner blessings come your way. Once you start looking at those changes as a blessing, you’ll be able to make MAJOR changes in your life. Everyone wishes things were different that they could upgrade their life but few are ever willing to change. And the crazy part is you have to want change for yourself! You have to believe that on the other side of ACTION is a gift - you will receive pleasure. Imagine you were about to have sex and you were anticipating that It would suck - do you think you would be surprised or It really suck? Of course IT would suck because that’s what you believe. You believe history is repeating itself and the same bad experiences from the past will happen again, so you don’t go after the promotion, go on the diet or walk away from the relationship because It the past It hurt like hell. Or You believe that the future is painful, nothing good will come of your new behavior and will only cause you more stress. You believe going on the diet is stress because you’ll be starving yourself and struggling to find meals that taste good - so you think why bobber. You believe the next relationship could be even worse, so why not just stay where you are, at least you have a few good days. You believe the promotion will mean you work 50+ hours a week and never have time for your self or your family, so you avoid applying because who needs the extra stress. Whatever FUTURE pain/discomfort that you have associated with this new action is keeping you stuck. Nobody wants to do anything that will bring them pain, so they settle. They settle for the pain they know. They stay in the relationship for decades, they stay at he job they hate and they are constantly complaining about everything that’s going wrong for them. You’ve developed a pattern of self sabotage about who you are and what you are capable of - so when It comes you CHANGE your mind is already made up that It will not work. Because you didn’t successfully love the weight last time, It won’t work this time. Because the last few guys you’ve attracted have been total assholes, each guy after will be the same just different name. Because you’ve went after a promotion in the past and your boss told you, you weren’t ready, you’re afraid of trying again. Your fears are dictating your life and causing you to miss out on some really epic shit that could be happening. I mean imagine yourself in the BEST shape of your life, strolling on the beach in a two piece, sipping a Mai Tai with your finance. You’re with the love of your life and finally on that dream vacation you’ve always dreamed about to Greece! When you break free of your “fear based” thoughts and REALLY ask yourself what you want - you’ll realize how small you’ve been playing in life. And most importantly how unnecessary it is - now is the time to change. You get to make a new decision TODAY! Ask yourself: 1. What is it COSTING you to not change? What will your life look like 2/3 years from now if you are STILL in the same place? 2. What have you gained by not taking action? Is It helpful in the long term? 3. What action are you avoiding that you can take right now? Feel free to post your answers below or tell me what you’ve gained from doing this exercise. PS: I know you are capable of so much more. Allow yourself the opportunity to be great. You’re continuously attaching a painful experience from your past or an imagined one to CHANGING.