I AM A DADDY LESS DAUGHTER And I am pretty sure I have a sign plastered across my forehead to match. Set with a list of insecurities and action steps for creative ways to hurt me. Constantly feeling like a dented can of peas that got overlooked in the supermarket and eventually marked down.
Waiting for some guy with empty pockets and a broken heart to pick me because I must be on sale now. I was at a really low point and I didn’t know how to express myself because I spent my entire life pretending not having a father didn’t bother me. I constantly compared myself to friends who had active fathers in their lives and decided they were no better off than me, so I guess I didn’t miss out on much.
I mean I never got to be Daddy’s little princess or make Father’s Day card or have someone to walk me down the aisle but I’m not broken. I’m not unworthy of love because he decided to walk away. I am amazing and he would be so fortunate to call me his daughter but here I am at 27, healing and choosing to forgive him. I forgive for walking away because I hurt 1000x more holding onto the anger. Hating him doesn’t make things easier for me, it just makes It harder for me to trust, that a man won’t walk out of my life. Forgiving him sets me free. Free to be whole. Free to be complete. Free to be worthy. Free to be lovable. I can’t go back and change my childhood but I can change what him not being there represents in my life -STRENGTH. I have overcome so many obstacles and still find a reason to smile. So when I see my father now, it hurts less and less. And when I write him letters telling him how much I wish he stayed, I know that it’s therapeutic for me, especially watching them burn. I am no longer broken, honestly I never was and neither were you. Some shit just happened that knocked us off our game and that’s okay. We’re strong and we will get through this! Action Steps: write a letter to the person you are struggling to forgive. Be totally raw and vulnerable, share your truth, hold nothing back. And then burn It.
Let go of pain. Envision the pain disappearing into thin air. Relaxing the hold It once had on you! Watch It burn. Watch It leave you. I promise you’ll be better instantly. Then keep doing It as needed!