I AM A DADDY LESS DAUGHTER
And I am pretty sure I have a sign plastered across my forehead to match.
Set with a list of insecurities, fears and action steps for creative ways to hurt me.
Because the shit I’ve been through doesn’t make any fucking sense.
I was moving through life like a dented can of corn in the supermarket that keeps getting overlooked and eventually discounted.
Waiting around for some guy with empty pockets and a broken heart to pick me because I was finally on sale.
You see I lowered my standards when it came to dating because I thought it would help me get what I want - title of a
I would date guys who didn’t want a relationship even though I KNEW that’s exactly what I wanted. Sticking around in hopes that they see how amazing I was and want to scoop me up.
But that never happened.
And when they were ready to commit, somehow it was never with me and was with the next chick they met but still wanted to remain friends.
Dating for me was never just fun and easy.
And my self esteem kept taking hit after hit until I had nothing else to give. I was at a low point crying on my bathroom floor, trying to figure out where things went wrong.
I knew I had daddy issues but I never really took the time to figure out what that meant for me specifically.
I knew I was angry with my father but I never made the connection to my dating life.
My father wasn’t in my life at all.
Unfortunately, so many women can relate to that.
I mean I never got to be Daddy’s little princess or make Father’s Day cards (that I didn’t just give to my mother) or have someone to walk me down the aisle and that hurt.
I didn’t have a male role model and I saw my mom struggle in relationships.
I HAD NO IDEA OF WHAT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSE TO LOOK AND FEEL LIKE.
No surprise when I started dating I was lost and confused, trying to figure shit out as I went along.
And I thought I was broken.
I put the sign on my that says break my heart.
And as much as I love the blame guys I dated, I saw myself as broken and unworthy (dented can of corn - that’s half off) long before they walk into the picture.
Their existence just brought my insecurities to the forefront.
And apart of me is grateful because I’ve begun to heal.
I’m not broken.
I’m not unworthy of love because he decided to walk away.
I am worthy af.
Always have been and always will be.
I am amazing and he would be so fortunate to call me his daughter but here I am at 28, healing and choosing to forgive him.
I forgive him for walking away because I hurt 1000x more holding onto the anger. Hating him doesn’t make things
easier for me, it just makes It harder for me to trust, that a man won’t walk out of my life.
Forgiving him sets me free.
Free to be whole.
Free to be complete.
Free to be worthy.
Free to be happy.
Free to be lovable.
Free to be me.
I can’t go back and change my childhood but I can change what him not being there represents in my life -STRENGTH.
I have overcome so many obstacles(you have too) and still find a reason to smile.
So when I see my father now, it hurts less and less.
And when I write him letters telling him how much I wish he stayed, I know that it’s therapeutic for me, especially watching them burn.
(I don’t send them but I couldn’t continue to hold my feelings inside, I needed to find a release and writing was just that).
I am not broken. And neither are you, you never were.
Some shit just happened that knocked us off our game and that’s okay.
We’re strong and we will get through this!
1. Set aside 15-20 minutes to do this writing exercise.
2. Light a candle and create a safe space for you to be comfortable and uninterrupted.
3. Write a letter to the person you are struggling to forgive. Be totally raw and vulnerable, share your truth, hold nothing back.
So often we try to be these tough people who don’t cry or get hurt and it’s causing more harm then good.
Remove your armor and say how you really feel. Let it out on the page.
4. BURN IT
Releasing it from your life.
Let go of pain.
Envision the pain disappearing into thin air. Relaxing the hold It once had on you!
Watch It burn.
Watch It leave you.
I promise you’ll be better instantly. Then keep doing It as needed!
Energetically you’re beginning to cut the emotion cords.
And I won’t say that you’ll instantly feel better and forgive the person because that will be a LIE but I will say you’ll feel relief.
You’ll begin to feel better. Lighter.
PS: feel free to share your experience and how this exercise has helped you.