I have always been mindful of my actions and how they affect others. Even at the expense of myself and what is best for me because I want to make other people happy.
So I would agree to DO things when I really didn't want too or I would apologize even though I wasn't sorry, just to keep the peace.
I would ask myself "if someone did this too you, how would you feel?" and that would decide what I do next. Except I didn't always get the same treatment back. People would make tons of noise, talk loudly on the phone, and never consider my feelings in any of their decisions.
And I became resentful.
I became angry because other people didn't care about my feelings and I didn't know how to handle it. Because if I said something 1. It could cause a conflict 2. I wouldn't be liked or the person may abandoned me So I've spent most of my life, tip toeing around other people's feelings and disappointed in myself for not speaking up and putting my needs first.
And as much as I would try, it always turned into a screaming match or awakward conversation that lead to tension afterwards.
Nod your head if this sounds anything like you.
I had to learn that making other people happy and comfortable isn't more important than my OWN needs and wants.
HONORING THE FACT THAT WHAT I NEED IS JUST AS IMPORTANT (IF NOT MORE)THAN THE OTHER PERSON.
I STOP fearing if speaking up for myself would result in an argument or bad fall out because I was no longer feared being alone. I no longer feared being abandoned. I no longer questioned if I was a good person.
I just decided I was. I just decided to choose me. Choose my needs. Choose my wants.
Choose my OWN happiness.
I stopped tip toeing around tough conversations and got straight to the point. I now honor and respect my boundaries.
And you should too. You do not need to beg people to stay in your life or kiss their ass to make them happy.
You get to be happy. You deserve to be happy. You are worthy of being happy.
GO BE HAPPY.
AND FUCK WHOEVER DOESN'T LIKE IT.
DO YOU BOO BOO!