Ever felt an Earthquake?
Have you ever experienced an earthquake?
Because I have and honestly, I wasn’t prepared for it.
As a New York native it isn’t something we have to think about but when I moved to LA its something that could happen so unexpectedly.
In NYC you can plan ahead for a snow storm and even a hurricane but an earthquake is so random.
When I experienced my first one I had no clue what to do - my emotions shut down and I instantly went into flight/fight mode.
I was ready to stop, drop and roll like it was a fire!
Unconsciously, I assessed what others we’re doing (I was at the mall) and did the same thing.
I was in total survival mode.
News reported it as a 7.2 and I handled it pretty well.
And the next few times I’ve experienced an earthquake I’ve been more calm, I’m use to it by now. I’m not as panicked. I know it won’t last and I can easily go back to normal.
It’s was EASY for my mind and body (nervous system) to relax after an earthquake but I can’t say the same for an EMOTIONAL event.
You see in the event of an earthquake there is an ending (unless building are collapsing) all will go back to normal.
But if you’re emotionally in danger - you can remain in a state of unsafety or danger. For instance being ghosted - when my father would pop in and out of my life - my emotional state was shattered.
Constantly wondering when other people who “loved me” would leave me - just like he did.
I didn’t feel safe.
The environment was dysfunctional and my body STAYED in fight/flight mode.
When I started dating I would fight to keep the relationship going.
I was still in survival mode. I couldn’t be abandoned again.
The panic of them leaving felt just as dangerous as the earthquake. But I never knew when it was going to end.
Until I decided to do the INNER work to heal my fears of abandonment and reintroduce feeling of safety back into my life.
No longer fearing that if my lover (or even friend) doesn’t text me back right away means that they are leaving me and I am unlovable.
I needed to rewire my beliefs and emotional intelligence for connection and healthy love.
I needed to figure out when I NEED to be in defense (fight/flight) mode and when it is time to come back down reconnect to my body and emotions.
Defense mode can save your life sometimes but other times it can reck havoc on your nervous system and cause you to miss out on the beautiful life you’ve created for yourself!
And this is the type of work I do with my clients.